I’ve done the bare minimum for work today. I feel terrible about it, but at the same time, I understand that my position is a drop in the bucket of profits for my company. I’m not using that as an excuse, I’m just using that as a reason for why I don’t feel exactly terrible.
Something occurred to me today, while I was talking with a dear friend. She is going through a moment where she questions herself and what she did in the past, she talked about seeking therapy for it. Our conversation didn’t help her exactly, I’m not sure what it did. But, it got me started on the idea of going into counseling.
Subtract the fact that my conversations with friends might not be helpful for them at all, I still feel that I innately enjoy talking about human emotions, possible causes and effects. Looking back, my interpersonal relationships are much stronger than my group relationships, and those that I am close to, I often get into the psychology of things.
I myself am lost and often down about myself, so how can I help others?
I don’t think the criteria for counseling is complete mastery of the self, I think that is the goal, but for some people, it takes a lifetime to master. In this pursuit, I believe that I would grow as a person just as much as my client. I don’t go into sessions thinking I know the absolute right answers. I go into sessions with a completely open mind and willingness to be corrected.
The idea of going back to school excites me as well, and the thought of no longer working from home is inviting, when the vision of me working in counseling office or school takes it’s place.
I do realize that my thoughts today are encouraged by the melancholy that I feel, but I also know that counseling has always been in my mind as a possible pursuit for as long as I’ve been searching for purpose. I spend more time thinking of a response to a friend’s dilemma then I do with actual work.
I must also realize that counseling, though sounds liberating now, will be a lot of hard work and a lot of heartaches. There will be days like these, where I don’t want to do a thing, and my happiness won’t increase. But it’s a path that I feel will enhance my life for the better and provide a sense of purpose for my life.