Instant Gratification

Ok, I realize I have a terrible time waiting for what I want. Which is ridiculous because what I want and don’t want are often the same thing depending on when you ask me. Instant gratification is like a drug to me. It’s confirmation and validation that I am doing right and doing good. Without…

The Interview and Moving Forward

I had an interview today with AllBox for their campaign writing position. During the interview, I was not nervous so that’s a win. But I did not sell myself enough to make them value me. They said they’ll let me know next week of their decision. I did not want this job initially. I was adoment about…

Fluff Love

Love. I wish to have it and to feel it. So much so that I think every man I’m slightly attracted to could be the one. This tendency is nothing new. I’ve always been a day dreamer, especially when it comes to love. I’m determined to find it and to keep it, and if I don’t…

Life: Now or Later

We’re all dying. what we did yesterday, do today, will tomorrow doesn’t matter. One day humans will no longer rule the earth. Our blood, sweat, and tears have no affect on the universe and all will be forgotten eventually. Nothing will matter – the fight you had with you sister, the laughter you shared with your…

Paul Rudd and Grit

I woke up feeling crazy. Legit crazy. I’m smoking cigarettes, there’s a scratchy feeling in my throat. I’ve adopted a puppy, I’ve broken up with Luke, I’m binge eating, and I’m seemingly directionless. I feel like I am crazy… but… for the first time in my life, I don’t feel depressed when I’m in this…

My Little Jester and the Letter

Meet Jester, my four month old lab mixed with *I think* pointer. I adopted him from Unleashed pet rescue in Mission, Kansas. I had no intentions of adopting a puppy but he snagged my heart the moment he walked in slowly with his forehead leading the way and his puppy eyes looking up at Hana and…

Let it Burn

Fire therapy. Feels good to watch my self doubts go up in flames. First doubt: I made the wrong decision leaving Luke. Regret is normal to feel I want someone who passes the “Traffic Test” The Traffic Test is passed when I’m finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the…

Breakup Binge

As the title says, tonight I am having my breakup binge. I’ve been eating non-stop today. This morning I started light but, as it usually goes during these times, it gets heavy by end of day until I am uncomfortably full going to bed. I’ve been single for four days now but I’ve been binging…

Chaos

There will be silence.   Brittle bones, and you, all alone. Beneath the ground, there will be coldness, as you lay inside your final throne.   Time’s now on your side, but not for long. Don’t be afraid of dying. Do, though, be afraid of not living.   So let the bells roar throughout the town. I’ll taste the…

Stroll

go, Go, GO! No time to stroll Money’s to be made You’re growing old! Go back inside! Stare at the screen We’re little ants Feeding the queen run, Run, RUN! You fell behind Life shan’t wait For wasting time Forget your dreams You’ve sold your soul so go, Go, GO! No time to stroll   word prompt…

Sacrifice

Bodies cover every square inch of grass. Where life once blossomed, death now took it back. Blood rivers flow into ocean of tears. Mothers and fathers facing their worst fear. Freedom an asset, and their life the price. We’re all spoiled today from their sacrifice. https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/sacrifice/    

And so I let him go

Midday afternoon, he picked me up. We drove to a Home Depot parking lot where I told him, not very well, why we should break up. I cried profusely, he cried a bit. He was lost and confused. He didn’t understand me when I said I need someone who I could have deeper conversations with….