So I did drunk text my ex last night. I did feel desperate to get away. And I had an alright time with my girls. I threw up at the first bar we went to because I didn’t eat enough before going out. It was a terrible feeling. I didn’t enjoy myself because my head is in its routine dose of chaos. I’ve been feeling unbalanced. I’m reading body language to be as valid as words. Overthinking. I became very annoyed with some friends. I wasn’t the planner of the party but I guess I should have assumed that role instead of asking for what everyone wants to do. Because not everyone put their two cents in yet had complaints of an unplanned night. It was like I couldn’t please everyone. I’ve been feeling like an outcast here this week. And I know it’s all in my head. That’s both the good and bad. The good is that I know I can change my thinking. The bad is that I think that at all. I think I’m just hormonal. Also Loan mentioned hooking Kevin up with another of her girlfriends, which really affected more than I thought it would.
I’m missing a man in my life. I know. I’m suppose to be independent and ‘I don’t need no man’ type. But the fact is that I’m such a romantic that I want a man. A good man. I’m in love with love…but it has to be the right love. Right now I’m wrapped up in sparse texts to my first ex while trying hard not to miss Kevin. Mr. Right, where are you?