Life Laws & Update


Life Laws

  1. I shall not let this body starve. It has done nothing but work for me for the past 26 years. If you’re hungry body, I got you
  2. I shall not let this body lose control. The world is built for bingers so I will be strong and motivate you to work out daily. Exercise makes you feel good, and it makes you look better than you not working out. Two pluses
  3. I shall not greet myself by staring at my reflection whenever I can. I will instead be driven by feeling, rather than what I see
  4. I shall not let “sexy” be any sort of goal in dress and behavior



My journey went like this. I started off insecure and a bit chubby. After losing about 10 lbs. I started staring at myself a lot more. My looks, mainly my weight, was at the forefront of my mind all the time. I began wearing better fitted clothes thinking I look a lot better. It was all about me. I was beautiful, I was sexy, and I was on the prowl. Never would I thought that in reality, I was insanely insecure.

I got so prowly (nicer way to say desperate) that I hit up the ex. THE EX. The heart breaker, the green eyed Ken, Billy. We hooked up a couple times, went out for drinks once, and never have I thought during our one on ones, damn he was a good one. Yet, I found myself obsessing over him once again. It was his cool nature that I envied. He found deep focus on Jujitsu and music. And I found deep focus on him. I hated that. I hated that my deep focus was the way I looked all the time, or at the gym when I’m pounding away miles and calories, not knowing for who. I hated being locked to my phone 24/7 knowing to him, I was nothing but a few seconds of thought in his day. The last time I reached out to him was 6/24/2016 with the line “watcha doin?”. He never responded. And I never followed up. I’ve seen “He’s Not That Into You”. After watching that movie, I realized that I was deeply smittened with my ex, and he was deeply not into me at all.

Anyways, the topic was sexy. Sexy is a huge catalyst here. I’ve been trying my damnedest to be sexy without realizing it. I’m back to wearing my large men t-shirts and baggy shorts. I like myself to be shy around guys, because, I’m truly not confident around them. I think that’s a very ok thing to be.


International Travel

My favorite spot to run by is what my brother calls “Little Mexico”. It’s an area off Southwest Blvd. that many Latino restaurants sit. I can lose myself in the area by imagining myself in a different area, outside the U.S. I made a pact with myself that I plan a trip, alone if needed, to a country where pot is legalized. Maybe Amsterdam. July 1st, 2017.


The reason I stopped using Facebook because I was feeling the ‘missing-out’ bug every time I see posts of people doing really cool things are friends hanging out without me. Also, I didn’t want to see any posts about Kevin fearing that would make me miss him. That’s the reason I stopped. The reason I continue to be off social media is because I realize that you shouldn’t need to be up to date of everyone’s life second by second. That’s not normal, and it’ll take another 10 years for some psychologist to do a study where, yes, being in the know 24/7 has negative affects on ones quality of life. So right now, I’m fine without it. It’s made me turn my focus onto other things. Oh! Which ties back to Billy. I envied his deep focus skill. I want that for myself. I’ve been giving time to guitar to practice deep focus. I’ve rented some history books too.



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