Guitar

  Practicing bar placement. My index finger is weak. I can tell because the guy did a really good job of showing thumb placement. The thumb is the backbone of the strength your index finger gets. So, this week I will just practice getting my index finger stronger.    

Train of Thoughts

I have to change my attitude towards my binge episodes. I can’t keep feeling guilty after each time, like I knew it was bad yet I still did it because it felt good. It’s a waste of time to walk the hallways of shame, shamefully, when you know you’ll be back again. The crowd watches…

WORK WORK WORK

I’m sitting at Mud Pie, working from here for the first time. Lily’s boyfriend, Andrew, works here. The coffee shop was once a house with colorful walls. I can’t blog as well with work on my mind : ( Anyways, I just thought I’d jot this thought down that I’m trying to use to combat…

Hormones are now taking over…

It’s ok to feel like a manic. It’s ok to look ‘like a fool’. It’s ok to say the wrong things or annoy people. It’s ok and you stop when you realize it.

Crazy, I am

Sometimes I feel crazy, I have to stop myself from thinking I am, and all that I’ve thought about myself, of others, and of life is wrong. I had dinner with Emily F. today. I felt like I was talking too much or expressing myself terribly, and I felt like I was trying to be…

Hello

I went on a 4.5 run this morning at 7am. I got back at 830am and showered, made breakfast, fed the dogs, and started work on my backyard. At work, the main gig right now is testing out an idea of mine (inserting email form onto the email campaign). Also, I am now apart of…

Positive Reminders

Appreciate AIB for: Challenges me to critically think for a long period of time Challenges my insecurities when it comes to ability Flexibility to work from home and maintain sense of independence Fears: The SM role change will require more meetings Traits to improve on: Confidence in providing honest opinion whether it is positive OR…

Tipped

I’m at that tipping point again. My mind is calling out for help, but I don’t know how to help it exactly. How do I handle situations where I feel uncomfortable, how do I handle spurts of self-defeating thoughts, and how do I handle extreme boredom? I most often get to this point during or after…

Portland Still On My Mind

I went on a – let me look at the map – little over 8 mile run down. The route: down Southwest Boulevard, turned left on Main Street (passing Barkley) into City Market, back on Grand, down to Crown Center (ran into a relay run Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure), and back home….

Vente Black Iced Tea, unsweeted.

Vien – don’t be afraid of the world. I am sitting at the Starbucks on Main Street, Downtown Kansas City. I took myself out of the house because, I think I’ve been cooped up and a bit stressed from it without realizing. I put on a top, something other than a t-shirt, and I’ve got my…

Official Updates on Past Topics

Hello. I haven’t been doing a great job of updating this blog because I’ve been making it a habit to write in a journal before bed each night. I’m torn between blogging and writing. Blogging allows me to feel like I could be heard and I can write more, but, what if technology changes one day and…

Missing the Final Touch

I’m working in my beautiful back yard. The weather is warm with a hint of fall crisp. My pups are out here with me. Ita quite besides the running a.c. and insects chirping. Its perfect. This moment, though, is missing the final touch… I still yearn for companionship. Despite how hard I try to play…