EXPRESSION OF CURIOSITY

Morgan Freeman dips his hands in many things, flying, directing, writing. The anchor explained this as his expression of curiosity . Advertisements

Conversations of Heart & Mind

If you asked my heart what it wants to do in life, it will tell you it wants to live in creativity (music): Mind: But, heart, how can we plan to write music as a legit hobby if we don’t even finish our songs completely? Heart: We could finish our songs if you would get out of our way… Mind:…

Vien, I love you.

I say this each time he pops into my head. I’m at the kitchen counter, ready to knock out serious work. I’ve been postponing to do items because I fear I’m too stupid to tackle tasks management assigns me outside of my regular expectations… that’s a real thing. I want to stop that. Yesterday I…

Funeral

I’m going through another mourning. This time, it’s over the relationship between Billy and I. I’m writing a letter to him that he’ll never read and hold a little funeral to bid him farewell forever. I must move on for my own sanity and happiness, and for others as well. I never had closure with…

Hard day

Today is a  hard day. Its because I texted him and he is not going to respond. I want to scream ‘stop!’ at the top of my lungs so he can hear me and stop this. Am I crazy? Did he block me? He might have. God. I am crazy. I don’t want this anymore….

As of this morning…

I’m 9 pounds away from not being ‘over weight’ on the BMI scale…5 pounds from college weight. What happened? 1. Got rid of mirrors and need to check image 2. Got rid of social media. 4. Got heart broken 5. Pursued hobbies 6. Practiced deliberately I’m still putting effort into each number..and going through #4….

I can’t finish cleaning 

Is this what I really love about someone? Their indifference to me? Why do we always want what we can’t have..until we have it. I’m moping around as if he’s the only person in the universe that is remotely what I want in a man that also finds me attractive. Reality though…he doesn’t even find…

D.llu

I look for you in crowds, all the time… I think of u first thing when I wake, before I fall alsleep…..and the many moments in between. I love you, and have only you, these past 8 years. In my many musings of life I wonder what your opinions would be of it because you…

I lied…

I texted him this: “I love you very much for the person that you’ve become. You inspire me in more ways than you know, the first to encourage my creativity, challenge my thoughts, and make me see the world differently. You’ve thanked me a many times but I’ve thanked you little in return. I’ve also…

I’ll Give You This Moment

This is all I’m giving to him today. Just this post filled with a rant of an unfulfilled life desperate for a man’s attention – in which – she thinks will fill her with the joy she’s missing, but in fact, has been causing more pain and turmoil than before. This is all I’m giving…

Billy

I’m afraid I am sitting on the edge of depression again… I can’t think of anything other than him. I wonder when he’d text next, or if he’ll ever be the first to want to see me. I’m afraid I know the answer to these questions… it’s a resounding ‘no’. But I can’t let go….

Goals

❤: I’m pretty wrapped up in Billy… I don’t know what my goal is here, ultimately I’d like to end up really happy. Work: Kick my commitment up a notch. I’ve been putting in 90% because it’s easy to. I want to kick it to 100%. That will help with practicing focus. Health: Continue my…