Billy

I’m afraid I am sitting on the edge of depression again…

I can’t think of anything other than him. I wonder when he’d text next, or if he’ll ever be the first to want to see me.

I’m afraid I know the answer to these questions… it’s a resounding ‘no’.

But I can’t let go. I keep thinking of things I could have done better, or what I could have done to make him think me different than who I am.

I’m afraid if he keeps me dangling on a string, that I will fall into a depression. The only way out is to profess my feelings to him, face rejection, and really let him go.

We never had that, a solid ending. I’m looking for closure it seems like…I’ve read that you shouldn’t seek closure.

If I don’t message him, than I will be living with the assumption that he doesn’t return my feelings. But if I message him and he rejects me, than it’s a reality I really have to face. There’s no assumptions there.

I hope this is the right decision. I’ll update you when he responds…if he ever does.

–Update–

Loan convinced me to meet up with him and talk. So that’s what I’ll do.

Promises to myself if I go through this:

  1. Body language – I will not try to put off ‘I don’t care’ vibes
  2. Communication – I will be honest to him and myself of my feelings
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