If I did respond…

“Hey, sorry for taking so long to respond. I appreciate everything you said. I hope I can live up to it. The fact of the matter for me is that I can’t see myself committing to a relationship. You know I think you’re amazing. I count on us being close for our whole lives. I was out of town last week, but we can talk in person sometime if you’d prefer.”

Here’s what I thought were the best responses in the world. Future Vien, you be the judge of it…

  1. You don’t have to live up to what you define, I’ll miss you Billiam (insert peace hand)..
  2. You’re missing out
  3. I wish you the best
  4. Billy, if you want to ask me out on a date, just do so already

All these are terrible. They are dancing around what I really want. What I really want is to see him again. Why am I so foolish?

How silly and foolish is it if I were to respond with “If I see you in person, I’ll only ogle you”

then is it terrible to add, for humor sake, “ogle, why such an ugly word for something that could be romantic. Unless it’s not romantic and I’m coming off as creepy with that line. Ok – maybe not. I’ll tweak. “Would it be selfish of me to accept your offer only to steal a chance at seeing you again?”

yes..I’m reaching for romance..but it’s honesty at least in this moment… I won’t send. I’m giving myself 2.5 weeks to respond. It’s only fair.

Perhaps I’ll wait till I really really miss him and text “Can I cash in the in person meeting now?” It sounds so desperate..but I’m after honesty in my life from now on. The trick is to be endearing and not creepy.

**Side Note

Getting lunch with 40D crew today, second time. I’m looking forward to it. Vien, do not, I repeat, do not get a big head. Yes, you’ve lost .. maybe 30 lbs and yes, you’re coming up with useful ideas at work…. it doesn’t make you awesome though, it doesn’t make you flawless, it doesn’t make you special. Take your successes and knock it down a couple rungs. Just reconnect, catch up, smile, and appreciate this time with actual (past) co-workers.

The slip from success to failure is an easy one – remember that when you start feeling cocky.

** Update **

When I got to Thai Orchid, it was just Tim. He had invited me to lunch to offer me a job as a banner developer. I was caught off guard but I turned it down pretty confidently. It makes me feel good that he took this effort to recruit me.

I spent most of the day after lunch with Leighann and Tyler. I’ll see her tomorrow too, I’m going to help her with her resume for a part time mailer position at my place.



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