“Hopefully we can hangout from time to time if you’re okay with it”
I’m putting a lot of thought into my responses lately – is it silly of me to do so? I want to set myself up for either preparation for his radio silence, or a possible meet up with him.
What will happen in the end though? If option 1: I’ll painstakingly slowly get over him eventually, if option 2: he’ll stroke my ego while we walk this beaten path, but in the end, will I end up the same? Rejected and heart broken?
If I don’t respond, the end is clear. If I do respond, the end is a little unpredictable. The more he’s feeding me, the more I feel as if there’s a chance between us. But I can’t bring that up – that’s not something he’s even aware of. I just have to think through my stance and my response. This is important stuff – nothing to be ashamed of when time is taken in my responses.
“you’re a tough one to get over – but I’ll suck it up. Said I’ll always be your friend”
“it will be tough at first but I’ll be ok . Said, I’d always be your friend”
“i’ll always be your friend”
“I don’t just want to see you from time to time, I want to see you all the time”
“I would like that”
“I would really like that”
“It might be tough at first, but I’d like to”
Vien, be ok if that is the last message. I’m balancing on the wire between desperation and indifference… I have to remind myself I am capable of having the love I want – either with or without him…
Here goes the heart twists again as I’m near to sending.