It’s pumping, speeding, and chasing fantasies.
I sent Dave an email… now I don’t know what to say next. Am I barking up a tree that I’m not ready for?
Was I suppose to sit back and wait for someone to notice and approach me? Is that more lady like?
I have no idea what I’m doing and what I’m chasing… but it sure feels nice to have a somebody new…until possibly rejection hits me again.
Or perhaps… I do know what I’m chasing, and running away from. I’m running away from unrequited feelings in chase of something brighter and more encouraging. It might take more sadness to get there though, and I don’t know what side Dave lays on. I just know I miss talking to someone – to the opposite sex. Is that desperate or is that human nature?
Vien – I love you…there is no right or wrong way to answer. Just, be and things will fall into place. It always has.
Heart and mind:
Heart: I’m dying
Mind: No you’re not
Heart: It feels like it, what’s wrong with me?
Mind: It’s just adrenaline
Heart: From where did it come from?
Mind: Well, yours truly reached out to Dave…
Heart: Why did you do that? I thought we agreed to be patient with things…
Mind: I know, I just have been thinking of time wasted. We’re just waiting here heart… nothing is happening.
Heart: You don’t know that. The point of waiting is because there possibly could be something good coming
Mind: So much uncertainty heart. We’re human, we want that connection, that someone to talk to…I don’t want you to grow cold.
Heart: How am I suppose to heal if he too rejects us?
Mind: I honestly don’t know. I don’t have an answer for it. But I would like to believe that we will be stronger for it and better than today.