Our Mess

Our duplex is a mess. It reminds me of the castle in which Crimson Peak was set in. There are leaves throughout the house, the kitchen is a mess, the living room is a mess, the dining room table is a mess, our bathroom is a mess.

I hate it. But it’s not because I am clean. It’s just how it is when we all live together. I look forward to having my own place. I am considering the apartments right next to Penn Valley dog park. It would be so convenient to simply walk Cheeto and Chester over every morning/evening.

I am tempted to clean the entire house but I won’t. I’ll clean the messes I think I’ve helped made, but no longer will I clean up everyone else’s. I will learn to live in the mess until I can get my own place. Then, I’ll really know how clean/messy I am.

David locked his keys in his car so I drove it to him just now. He commented on how much weight I’ve lost. He’s not the first to do so, but when people comment on it, I feel as if they’re concerned for me.

I’ve hit, perhaps .# .lbs below my college weight… I’m now 138.6 or so. That is insane. I hit 178 lbs. this time last year possibly. I’m happy about it, but am concerned it was too fast.

Perhaps I’m not doing this the healthy way, they think. I don’t know if I am. I just know that I make exercise a priority, my mental health a priority, and I eat when I am hungry, and try to stop when I’m not. I do refrain from eating unhealthy food if it’s the only option, which means I would go without eating substantial meals before bed.

Right now I don’t feel hungry or feel. It just feels strange. I feel bloated but am craving. My period is to start in 2 days so that is why I’m feeling this way. This point is crucial – I am recognizing that my body is craving because of menstruation. I don’t have to listen to it, I will not die if I don’t give in.


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