What’s Wrong With Me

I see the ACW has 11/3 – 11/4 off of work… my conclusion is he is coming to KC – as he said he was thinking of doing…but he didn’t tell me so. Which means, he’s not interested.

Self talk time…

I don’t know if that’s what he’s doing or not… if it is what he’s doing and he says nothing and you don’t see him, what will happen?

I’ll feel really silly, and insecure. And desperate. And like I fucked something up.

Do you think all these things of yourself?

I’m insecure, I am actively open to relationship, and I didn’t do anything that was out of character. Who I was then helped me be who I am now…which I don’t know if it says too much but I’m happy.

Not seeing ACW isn’t going to have a big affect on my routine and my life. It hurts a little but it is what it is. When you open yourself up to new things, you hope for the best. But, you also have to prepare for the worst because the best is high expectation.

Blah.

You know, even if he did reach out to me, what does that mean?

I’m not going to sleep with him. The most I’ll do is invite him to dinner at a spot he mentioned while we were in Nola.

Ok.

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