Over at my parents was kind of odd. I felt like it was a culture clash. I don’t know if it was real or if I’m making it up in my head. It’s completely normal for Vietnamese people to visit each other unannounced, I believe. So my parents do so with my brother’s girlfriend. I felt a little awkward because I wonder if she gets tired of that. I think I would get annoyed eventually. I don’t know if I should just go with the flow and not make it an issue until it is one, or if I should ask Cong. I don’t know, I’m just not going to give any thought to it until it’s an issue… I just don’t want to be oblivious to their true feelings is all.
My boss reached out to me with his concerns of my scheduling ways. I took his message as me half assing scheduling because I wasn’t following some sort of protocol. That’s kind of stressing me out, especially since I’m vulnerable to feeling I’m going to lose my awesome job. So I responded as honestly as I can without sounding too much like an idiot…hopefully this goes over well. Nervous about embarrassing myself as well. But, I must remember everyone makes mistakes and it isn’t detrimental to the company’s overall performance. I’ll be honest, respectful, and open to change as so my boss wants.
Now I’m home. No one is home, I’m wondering if they went to see a movie without me :(. Sometimes I get the “missing out” tinge when they don’t ask if I want to see a certain movie or wait for me to see it. But I realize, also, that feeling is just self esteem related. Half the time, I’m completely fine if they went without me. It’s just the gesture of being asked… which comes from the desire to be wanted… which I’m working on not being so dependent on (the whole, not letting other’s actions affect me). Which, I should give myself a few tulips for…
I’m just feeling off until my boss replies to me. Can’t keep positive with that looming.
Some things I thought of on the way home related to health and fitness:
I want to make fitness and good health a priority of mine. I’m declaring it to make it a apart of my identity and making it always a choice I can pick from without feeling guilty, forced, or self conscious about. I want to make staying fit a lifetime priority. I’m making it a priority because I’m good at it, and it makes me feel better. Just as much as maintaining healthy familial and platonic relationships is important to me.
I’m signing off for the night, have a good one where ever you are.