I worked so hard to get to where I did, now I’m losing the ground I gained. I’m really scared. I’m the beginning and ending to life as I know it. I could get out of my own way.
What is going right in my life?
- My parents are still alive
- My siblings are growing their family, our family
- I have a pretty sweet computer setup
- I’ve found a good friend or two
I want to say goodbye to binging. It’s the only way I’ll start living. It means living with fear, worry, and anxiety, without remedy – right? Or does it mean I’ll have to destroy fear, worry, and anxiety? Because, I don’t’ know what other distraction I can have. I will get over it – I may regain all my weight and more, people will notice, and they will judge. But, I’m on my own journey.
What can I do to make things better?
- Read the CBT book again
- Seek therapy
- Write each time I want to binge
- Sleep when I’m tired
Last night I was doing really good – no binge, near sleep, then I heard the T.V. make a really strange noise. I’m home alone, I got scared, I got up and binged.
I think I need to see a therapist again, this time, I’ll be ready for one. First I’ll read through the book to see if it helps.