Binge

Yeah 😦

145.

I worked so hard to get to where I did, now I’m losing the ground I gained. I’m really scared. I’m the beginning and ending to life as I know it. I could get out of my own way.

What is going right in my life?

  • My parents are still alive
  • My siblings are growing their family, our family
  • I have a pretty sweet computer setup
  • I’ve found a good friend or two

I want to say goodbye to binging. It’s the only way I’ll start living. It means living with fear, worry, and anxiety, without remedy – right? Or does it mean I’ll have to destroy fear, worry, and anxiety? Because, I don’t’ know what other distraction I can have. I will get over it – I may regain all my weight and more, people will notice, and they will judge. But, I’m on my own journey.

What can I do to make things better?

  • Read the CBT book again
  • Seek therapy
  • Write each time I want to binge
  • Sleep when I’m tired

Last night I was doing really good – no binge, near sleep, then I heard the T.V. make a really strange noise. I’m home alone, I got scared, I got up and binged.

I think I need to see a therapist again, this time, I’ll be ready for one. First I’ll read through the book to see if it helps.

 

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