I want to start dancing. I realize I miss the thrill of performance. I’ve never been a professional anything on stage, but the little time I’ve had in front of any audience have been exhilarating. Monday, I am going to a dance course. It seems like it won’t be my crowd, but I’m going as a first time exposure experience. I want to eventually get into competitive dancing.
I have a guitar meetup I’m going to early January and am determined to join in on Soccer. I want to fill my time up with these things because I really enjoy it. I’m getting fit and pretty sexy, especially with my belly dancing moves ^ _ ^. I do want to use that in dancing too. Shakira has been my motivation & idol, I love her much.
What I hope to gain from these activities are:
- ability to welcome new people and create new relationships
- be more connected with my body movements and coordinations
- gain more confidence as my passion and skills develop
My goal is to have these things to bring light into my life, especially for moments where I feel in the dark with my anxieties. When things go wrong (mentally most probably), I’ll have these hobbies to make me feel competent.
Today was a B day. I was alright with work productivity. I didn’t work on Alex’s site, but yesterday I made progress. I just need to finalize copy, photos, and the store. The store is a HUGE task. I worked with my Big for the most part. Met up with Angie, Karen, and Jackie for lunch at Komatsu raman shop. My big and Karen are a little weird right now, and I don’t know how to act. I feel I’m in the middle (again), trying to play both sides, which can be annoying to some? I don’t know. I get self-conscious about that. I wonder if they think I’m fake as I am cool with both sides.
You see, I don’t take sides very much. I am a very agreeable person, I don’t like conflict too much. I learned that from being the peacekeeper between my parents. I do like that I am able to play the fields and not cut people out, but I do wish I was more opinionated. Well, perhaps innately, I have a lot of opinions…but I withhold it in fear of judgement from others and the potential for them to push away from me. I recognize it and do want to work on my agreeableness. I want to have valuable opinion and learn good conflict resolution skills.
Anyways, we bopped from coffee shop to coffee shop, which was more draining than you would think! I was happy to be home and be in bed with Chester. I have the Cosmos on. Tomorrow I plan to hit the gym early, then start working. Most likely from home since everyone will be here : )
My goal for my body is to be FUCKING HOT. I’m 26 but I don’t look it, I’ll admit. Mostly because I’ve worked on my fitness (I think). My age is getting up there but I want to make sure I age well. I’ve lived most of my life imprisoned by my overweight body and now that it’s breaking free, I feel I have no time to waste to get after what I want.
Anyways – I’ll catch you tomorrow. Remember – live life with bare necessities.