My Choice is to STOP

Last night I binge. Oh, I binged so good. I had half a bag of family sized ruffles, chicken, nuggets, fries, coke, food, food, and more food! I ate till I forgot about my stress of the day. And boy was I stressed. I have so much work to do and the music website has been stressful on me too.

I was paralyzed yesterday. Ever feel like you have so much to do but don’t know where to start and people are waiting on you? That was me yesterday. So I ate. That is like another kick to my face while I am down. And I did it to myself.

So, I am deciding to stop. I will not allow myself to gain 40 lbs of useless weight again. I don’t care if I am incredibly hungry for the release of endorphins. I will chose to drive myself 20 minutes to the gym if it means it will keep me from a binge. I will write pieces after pieces if it means keeping me from a binge. I will cry, I will scream, I will do anything and everything (unharmful to others) if it means keeping me from a binge.

I am choosing to stop today. Just as I chose to stop loving my ex, just as I chose to stop taking in my dad’s sadness (still a work in progress), just as my future choices I am determined in, I am choosing to stop this 3 decade old addiction.

Just. Like. That.

I’m going to have a kick ass, productive day today.

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