This video encouraged my daily habit of taking vitamins. Specifically, this video discusses the benefits of a vitamin called Niacin (Vitamin B3) for depression. Since I started on Saturday, I feel a sense of mental clarity, different from the cloudy sensations I was having during that time. In all, I am taking: B3, B6 (started today), B12, Chromium Picolate, D3, Fish Oil, C (started today), Magnesium (started today).
All these vitamins have been pointed out to help with symptoms of depression. I am cognisant of possible side effects but currently, I do feel better. I also feel good about taking vitamins now that I am wanting to eat mainly whole foods because in the past, I feel I undernourished my body (unintentionally) which led to lethargy, and drove me to break the wagon. I’m going to keep track of how I feel as I eat whole foods and take vitamins.
The biggest takeaway from Mindfulness so far is the practice of not judging _myself_ for thoughts that I have. It use to be that I would have the most random thoughts pop up, good or bad, naughty or nice, and I would have to work through that. On top of that, I would _judge_ myself for even having those thoughts if they’re bad or naughty (mean). Now, I just observe them without judgement, then let it pass. Meditation has made me realize just how random my brain is. The most random thoughts pop into my head sometimes. It might make sense, it might not. The point being, I don’t take them serious anymore. This especially helps when I imagine what others are thinking about me. Say, I speak way too much during a meeting. My brain, later, will criticize me and make me imagine others rolling their eyes in silence, or judging me for trying too hard. Now, I observe that critique..”interesting that you think that, brain”, and then let that thought pass by. It might come back again, but it will pass again as well.
This resource brought to light my social anxiety and encouraged my admittance of the fact that I have some form of it. The take away here is the fact that I use to not participate in conversations because I thought I don’t connect with people. Now I realize, I don’t participate because my filters are working overtime. It’s working so hard that I can’t keep up so I just shut down. Now, I’m in the practice of putting on hold my filter and just letting out what comes to my head without the fear of judgement after the fact. Another important takeaway is that my conversations all don’t have to be interesting, entertaining, or of importance. That type of expectation sets an unnecessary pressure on myself. I want to practice speaking without thinking — which sounds like stepping backwards. But I have to reverse engineer my social anxiety this way since my filter is working way overtime right now.
This article brought to light the importance of not judging someone else’s choice. Sometimes I get into problem solving mode with friends and family, letting them know what they can do to make themselves feel better without them asking for it. When they don’t listen, I take offense to it. This article let me realize that I have my own problems to work out that I don’t have answers for. I also don’t want someone else to come in, thinking they know my full story, and telling me what they think is best for me to do. I’ll take it in some cases, but in other cases I will feel that annoyed resistance I feel. This judgement of their life and their decision is bringing me suffering. Instead, I will work towards recognizing judgements as they come, then transforming that into acceptance of where the person is.