Not Doing Anything

Sitting silently situated on a couch
I am defiantly doing nothing now
I use to ache for action and excitement
But now I yearn for peace & enlightenment
I hear your purpose is slow to come
Purpose is purposely different for everyone
The world would be bland if we were all the same
Yet ironically the same is what makes us appear sane
My dog is whining crying for a run
But I am defiantly letting things go undone
Sometimes I fear I am wasting time
But in truth what we fear is falling behind
It isn’t the riches, glory, or material things
That brings you happiness you think it brings
It’s being able to sit still situated in silence
Not chasing a thing, just welcoming enlightenment

I’m laying on my couch with Chester nestled on me. Today would be a day I would have binged. The ingredients were there: new uncertain projects at work, work drama and stress from yesterday, residual negative thoughts coming up today.

The poem above speaks to meditation. I use to be uncomfortable with doing nothing and had to fill my time up. I also feared I would binge if I sat in silence for too long. But in this moment, I don’t feel like doing anything nor am I reaching for food as a filler. That’s because I want to be able to sit still and be mindful. To do what appears to be nothing, but is the most important something I’ve realized I wasn’t able to do before.

The main question or thought from the day is the idea that I’m falling behind because I’m choosing to just sit here instead of working towards something. It’s interesting that typically, I would distract myself with tv or my phone, but really, that’s not me working towards something either. It’s more fruitful to sit without distractions, though, because then I can practice mindfulness. This is the practice of observing the random and uncontrollable thoughts that come up, without judgement, then letting them go. This action is that important something I mentioned above.

Anyways… admittedly, I’ve been writing this post up so I haven’t really just sat in silence doing nothing. So… here I go.

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