Negativity + Awareness + Humility = Growth 

Some days I love myself. I am confident, I feel beautiful inside and out, I feel like a good person overall. Some days, like today, I feel really down about myself. Like dominoes, one occurrence perceived as negative leads to another, until I am bashing my character and my intent at the end of the…

Gossip

Gossip may be the death of me. This is something I hate to partake in, but sometimes I do to appease the gossiper. I use to do this a lot more, but I lately I have been making it a point not to and to question the gossiper. Someone I’m close to went straight to…

2 Steps Forward

I watched a meditation video with my mom Sunday, reluctantly. I felt my stomach churn and turn, I think it was engrained reactions from back in the day, when she use to make me do things I didn’t want to do such as go to Temple. Still I sat and watched and challenged myself to…

Medication, Meditation, & Binge Eating

Fluoxetine & Other medication: This is a generic drug for Prozac. My practitioner prescribed me this after I paid her a visit for hormonal check. She diagnosed me with PMDD and knowing that I binge ate too she quickly said this medication will help. I am the skeptical type but I didn’t want to suffer anymore so…

My Choice is to STOP

Last night I binge. Oh, I binged so good. I had half a bag of family sized ruffles, chicken, nuggets, fries, coke, food, food, and more food! I ate till I forgot about my stress of the day. And boy was I stressed. I have so much work to do and the music website has…

This is Important

I can feel myself slipping into a depressive cycle. And I know exactly what the triggers are, so I must write about it. I am getting annoyed of my roommates, perhaps they are the victims of my PMS feels or perhaps I have a right to feel the way I feel. I became annoyed when…

Death

I went to bed thinking about this alot. What would happen if I died? Who would mourn? What would be left unsaid? Death is so final, but at the same time, during episodes of intense sadness, it seems so freeing. No longer do I overthink relationships, no longer do I feel self-pity, no longer would…

Hurting

Last night was tough, this morning I feel a dense cloud lingering in my head. I binged till I felt like my stomach was near to tearing. I was and am so lonely. Actually, I feel it. I feel pathetic writing about it again, I wish instead I was writing about how my life is so fulfilling…

Do We Absolutely Become What We Fear Most?

I went to the gym this morning, at 5:45 a.m. I saw Erin on the elliptical, which normally would be really cool, except, yesterday I asked if she wanted to do a morning workout, “so I can hear all about your first day”. To that she replied there wasn’t much to talk about. I was…