This is Important

I can feel myself slipping into a depressive cycle. And I know exactly what the triggers are, so I must write about it. I am getting annoyed of my roommates, perhaps they are the victims of my PMS feels or perhaps I have a right to feel the way I feel. I became annoyed when…

Day 10 ~ Emotional Rollercoaster & Really Random Mind Dump

Today has been a day out of days I might remember. Hopefully, when I do reminisce, it’ll be with contentment in my heart instead of the ache that actually existed the entire day. It started out on the wrong foot already. I was still in my green, long-sleeved button up shirt and jeans when I…

Day 6 ~ Up & Down

I’ve taken myself to the gym between 5:30-7am everyday this week. I see a lot of progress with my body, but there is much left to do and there is much left to accept. I’ve returned a full length mirror to my room. I dance in front of it when I want, and look at…

Binge

Yeah 😦 145. I worked so hard to get to where I did, now I’m losing the ground I gained. I’m really scared. I’m the beginning and ending to life as I know it. I could get out of my own way. What is going right in my life? My parents are still alive My…

Practice Makes Perfect

I’m writing because I’ve got the munchies really bad. I just want to eat, eat, and eat. I don’t want to feel this uncertainty and insecurity. And to not feel that, I have to put a bandaid over it in the form of eating. It would tire me out completely. Afterwards, I’ll still have my…

OMG

I just felt a huge pang of emotion… and following that are thoughts and feelings and reflections of my past wanton actions… and now I’m questioning my worth… But I don’t feel like binging, I feel like figuring out why I feel this way and how to correct it. Ok – the company hired new…

Oops I Did it Again

I binged last night. I’m now at 141.5. I normally don’t track this but I want to know to see the full effects of binging. I’ve settled on something, binging isn’t my problem. It’s my flare gun. It happens when I’m not feeling right and really need a pick me up. It comforts me and…

I Have Nothing to Lose

I think I’m so cool just because I try a little harder than usual with work. Why am I so conceited? Before I beat myself up, remember, I’ve already admitted to being a shitty person at heart so, nothing you say can hurt me. I’m a shitty person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But, I’m changing. It’s scary because I…

Stop

Smoking – Lorence gives disapproving look She thinks I let the dog out and got lost. She thinks I’m not thinking clearly. This is all mind reading. I have no idea what she is thinking. She knows how much I do this, and how capable I am of making good decisions. I did not let…