This is Important

I can feel myself slipping into a depressive cycle. And I know exactly what the triggers are, so I must write about it. I am getting annoyed of my roommates, perhaps they are the victims of my PMS feels or perhaps I have a right to feel the way I feel. I became annoyed when…

Day 10 ~ Emotional Rollercoaster & Really Random Mind Dump

Today has been a day out of days I might remember. Hopefully, when I do reminisce, it’ll be with contentment in my heart instead of the ache that actually existed the entire day. It started out on the wrong foot already. I was still in my green, long-sleeved button up shirt and jeans when I…

OMG

I just felt a huge pang of emotion… and following that are thoughts and feelings and reflections of my past wanton actions… and now I’m questioning my worth… But I don’t feel like binging, I feel like figuring out why I feel this way and how to correct it. Ok – the company hired new…

What’s Wrong With Me

I see the ACW has 11/3 – 11/4 off of work… my conclusion is he is coming to KC – as he said he was thinking of doing…but he didn’t tell me so. Which means, he’s not interested. Self talk time… I don’t know if that’s what he’s doing or not… if it is what…

Girls Like Pip

Get the late night messages from her ex saying he still loves and wants her. Girls like Pip can’t be forgotten. She’s the one that got away. She doesn’t go looking, she’s herself until she is seen. Girls like me…well, we find other things to do. It gets a little boring, especially at night time….

Shitty people

I realize on my drive home that in a shitty person trying to unshit my past shits… I’ve been trying to live this ‘good life’. I do the right things. I show up. I apologize. I battle my asshole self with my Confucius self on a daily basis. I don’t need to hide it anymore….

I get it, I’m sensitive

I wish I wasn’t. Who I want to be: Calm and collected High ability to stay focused on task at hand Worry about my own things Smart Make rational choices Things I like that encourages these points: Running Watching science shows Practice skills such as guitar Ability to stop self from diving too deep in…

Instant Gratification

Ok, I realize I have a terrible time waiting for what I want. Which is ridiculous because what I want and don’t want are often the same thing depending on when you ask me. Instant gratification is like a drug to me. It’s confirmation and validation that I am doing right and doing good. Without…

The Interview and Moving Forward

I had an interview today with AllBox for their campaign writing position. During the interview, I was not nervous so that’s a win. But I did not sell myself enough to make them value me. They said they’ll let me know next week of their decision. I did not want this job initially. I was adoment about…

Fluff Love

Love. I wish to have it and to feel it. So much so that I think every man I’m slightly attracted to could be the one. This tendency is nothing new. I’ve always been a day dreamer, especially when it comes to love. I’m determined to find it and to keep it, and if I don’t…

Let it Burn

Fire therapy. Feels good to watch my self doubts go up in flames. First doubt: I made the wrong decision leaving Luke. Regret is normal to feel I want someone who passes the “Traffic Test” The Traffic Test is passed when I’m finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the…

A Letter from the Future

Hey BoBylan. I hope that you are doing well. I know right now you are uncertain, writing a whole book sounds daunting. But, I’m here to tell you that you’ve made it. The first book was rough, you put so much time and energy into it,  but didn’t get the feedback that you wanted. You…