Control

I binged again last night.  I’m releasing control today and beyond.  Control…. Control….. Control: the actions that one takes as a means to a desired end.  I sincerely believe that everything that happens has values. That’s a statement that mimicks ‘everything happens for a reason’, but doesn’t rely on fate or destiney.  In telling Erin…

What You Resist, Persists

I lose myself in food because I hated who I was by about 7th grade onward. This is an open letter to no one and everyone: I was never bullied. I didn’t get hit or ostracized. Marks weren’t left on my body, but bruises and scratches were committed on my self worth and body image. My…

Tools to Move Forward With

What Went Well Yesterday: I sat with boredom without binging I played guitar and made music I went to Jiu Jitsu Although I binged, I drank a lot of water and didn’t eat as much as I could have eaten What I’ll Work on Today: Be mindful throughout the day Be mindful when the urge…

Dear Journal

What Went Well Yesterday: Met up with Grandbig and had indian with roommates + Z-shan & his sister Didn’t go into a full fledge binge after having indulging in a cheeseburger, dipped ice cream cone, and 3 cookies from mcdonalds…after having two biscuits and meat gravy for dinner Connected my post-binge self with my craving…

Binge Shackle, Link by Link

Yesterday we all went out (except for Lola) because Z-Shan was in town. We stayed out until 3am. I drank no more than a glass of wine and a sip of a shot. The night went south when we ate Gyros at about 2am. I contemplated on whether or not I should get one but…

Binging and Sleep – Big Revelation!

What went well yesterday: Jiu Jitsu class was awesome. I got a great workout in. I’m becoming better and better at assuming whomever I roll with as just a body instead of a man’s body. It makes for a much more intense and fun roll. I didn’t eat past 7:30pm I meditated twice I went…

Bloat Be Gone

Yesterday was a challenge not binging. I watched a few videos of people addressing binge eating and here are some helpful tips that I am starting: Mark Hyman, MD (YouTube)Mark Hyman, MD (YouTube) Get educated: Insulin – sugar hormone Leptin – affected by sugar, gets broken by it Ghrelin – hunger hormone Peptide YY –…

The Continual Pursuit of Happiness

Alright. Last night, I binged. I surely did. I was happy with my abs coming through the entire day yesterday and then, BOOM, the night came and I found myself in the kitchen. Like a racoon, I was scavenging for food. I ate everything from 2 chicken sausages with squash spaghetti, half a stack of…

Ted Talk (Happiness) & Nutrition

Ted Talk: Our mind is like a balloon blowing in the wind. Our happiness is affected by external things. If things don’t go our way, then our happiness disappears. As long as our reasons for why we have a good day are lists of external conditions then we’re not going to have the stable happiness…

Is This My Life?

Hello darkness, my old friend… Yesterday everything was great until my roommates came home. One of them gives me anxiety because of her personality changes from me and her sister and best friend. With me, I feel she isn’t her true self, while she teases her best friend and sister. I can’t be myself because…

Medication, Meditation, & Binge Eating

Fluoxetine & Other medication: This is a generic drug for Prozac. My practitioner prescribed me this after I paid her a visit for hormonal check. She diagnosed me with PMDD and knowing that I binge ate too she quickly said this medication will help. I am the skeptical type but I didn’t want to suffer anymore so…

Binge Eating And Me

The binge eating self lives a life of shame. She sneaks around in the night picking up morsels of meats and carbs she thinks no one will notice or miss. Her hands are sticky and smelly with foods she devoured within seconds – hot or cold – it didn’t matter. The binge eating self, like…