Next Chapter & Beyond

There is one week that lies between my past and my future. Next week’s Sunday, I’ll be driving with my mom, my boxes, and my two dogs to Northern California to live with my big sister, my nephew, and my brother in law. The journey is the flip of the last page of this Chapter….

Control

I binged again last night.  I’m releasing control today and beyond.  Control…. Control….. Control: the actions that one takes as a means to a desired end.  I sincerely believe that everything that happens has values. That’s a statement that mimicks ‘everything happens for a reason’, but doesn’t rely on fate or destiney.  In telling Erin…

Negativity + Awareness + Humility = Growth 

Some days I love myself. I am confident, I feel beautiful inside and out, I feel like a good person overall. Some days, like today, I feel really down about myself. Like dominoes, one occurrence perceived as negative leads to another, until I am bashing my character and my intent at the end of the…

Life Changes – The Big Move

To move to California or to move into a downtown apartment with Hana. That is the question of the next 3 months. Our lease is up July 31st, and I was set on option #2, but something triggered the California dream once more today. I was walking on the track at my gym, just leisurely….

Lessons Learned from Yesterday’s Splurge

What went well yesterday: I was really productive at work and am doing a good job at managing my workload/time I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full I walked because I wanted to move and had nothing else I wanted to do I walked with pups in the morning I…

Not a Binge

My support friend and I have been trying something different. We have been repeating to ourselves that no food is bad. I have been ordering and eating what I want, with the goal of stopping when I’m full. For one week now, I have not had a binge on this method. That doesn’t mean I…

WENTI + Recovery Update

WENTI Walk in the morning Eat what’s there No food is bad Talk isn’t stary I am enough Walk in the Morning: Cheeto and Chester needs their exercises each day. Cheeto, especially needs his arthritic back legs to be exercised. I need to get my blood going first thing in the morning. I added in…

Day 2 Morning Tracking

I woke up this morning without feeling guilty, even though I snacked last night. I put my sports bra on and intended to run with Chester in an effort to maintain the same activity level as I had before – running in the morning and BJJ in the evening. I didn’t follow through though. The…

Day 1 of Freedom Eating

I’ve been eating what I want, and snacking when I feel like it. Although I do this, it is not guilt free. I still get the feeling that I need to eat better tomorrow to not gain weight. But, I’m not going to. I’m going to continue what I’m doing. Cravings can be controlled and…

One Month of Intuitive Eating (Vien’s Style)

I am back on this wagon (Vien’s style because I didn’t read a book about it). My goal is to normalize foods that I have engrained as off limits in my subconscious. I am prepared to gain a bit of weight because I will be eating fatty & greasy foods I kept myself away from…

What You Resist, Persists

I lose myself in food because I hated who I was by about 7th grade onward. This is an open letter to no one and everyone: I was never bullied. I didn’t get hit or ostracized. Marks weren’t left on my body, but bruises and scratches were committed on my self worth and body image. My…

Tools to Move Forward With

What Went Well Yesterday: I sat with boredom without binging I played guitar and made music I went to Jiu Jitsu Although I binged, I drank a lot of water and didn’t eat as much as I could have eaten What I’ll Work on Today: Be mindful throughout the day Be mindful when the urge…