Drunk

I’m drunk and I feel as if I’m on the prowl. I am single and ready to mingle. But the mingle isn’t ready for me. I’m sitting at a table, Erin’s friends are around chatting. I could be chatting too but I’m not. Probably because I’m too focus on being on the prowl. Why? Because…

Girl on the Green Mat

New BJJ Blog: I started a BJJ blog here: www.girlonthegreenmat.com I’ve been wanting to start a blog about something other than my deep personal life lately. I first thought of doing something around personal development through a site I called BloomingX but I had a problem with really focusing on a topic. I landed on just…

Binge Shackle, Link by Link

Yesterday we all went out (except for Lola) because Z-Shan was in town. We stayed out until 3am. I drank no more than a glass of wine and a sip of a shot. The night went south when we ate Gyros at about 2am. I contemplated on whether or not I should get one but…

How I Look

Facebook is such a humbling experience to be had – especially when you’re feeling mighty fine. I hate the way I look in pictures, to be frank. I don’t think I look good, at least on the recent pictures. When I see these ‘bad pictures’ I begin to understand why those I am very attracted…

Decisions Made

I’m moving out on my own once this lease is up. That’s in 6 months plus a week. It will be my first time really on my own. I’ll be 27. The place will be near downtown KC. I am happy I’ve made the decision and am ready for it. I’m ready to really know…

20th Day of January, 2017

Carly is asking me about MSF output. She thinks I’m not working enough. I think this because I know I’ve slacked a few days. Rethinking: I have no idea what Carly is thinking or planning in asking me about my output. This could actually help give me better direction, if she thinks I don’t do…

This is Important

I can feel myself slipping into a depressive cycle. And I know exactly what the triggers are, so I must write about it. I am getting annoyed of my roommates, perhaps they are the victims of my PMS feels or perhaps I have a right to feel the way I feel. I became annoyed when…

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Woe is me, woe woe is me. I’m lonely on this Monday. T’was feeling so yesterday as well. I binged binged binged till I couldn’t fit anything else in. Leighann came over, though, to warm up my cold home for a bit. Bleh.. I should have gone over to her place for games instead of…

Day 17

Today was a B day. I was productive with Alex’s site but my Big did do all my work today. I’m typing on my phone in bed so I don’t feel like typing too much. I worked with her most of the day. Oh, Victor got me a Starbucks gift card..that was really sweet of…

Day 16

You ever have days where you feel down? They start off as thoughts that don’t make me feel good, then it snow balls from there.  Wherever you go, there you are. I’ve been on the up, and now second guessing myself is dragging me down. I wonder if its something I can stop of I…

Day 13 ~ Last Night

The suffering was less than what I feared. I made good efforts to remain in the moment. To be there for the friends that came and to listen and show my love with time.  I thought of Billy as I feared. Sometimes I feel like a loser with no guy friends. Most of all my…

Day 9 ~ Boredom

I don’t like boredom, even worse, I’m too lazy to alleviate the boredom and too introverted to conversate with my roommate. How wonderful it would be to have a guy like my imagined Billy to lay next to me, and just shoot the shit with me. I miss those days – I haven’t had that…