More than anything else, I believe fear rummages through my overfilled body and mind. After the last post, I continued to raid the fridge. I had in all:
- Chicken soup
- Ice cream/caramel
- Two pieces of sweet candies
- Chips and salsa
- 3 pieces of jerky
It felt great in the beginning but then deminishing returns kick started and I ended up really not enjoying the chips/salsa and jerkey. So now I lay with Chester sprawled out sideways, his head resting on my pelvis. My tummy is still full, and the fear is real.
- What if this breaks my habit
- What if now I’ll go back to 178 lbs. and miserable
- What if I’ll continue to binge each day till I’m overweight again
So many what ifs with one controlling factor: Me
I don’t want to break my habit and slow down my progress. I don’t want to go back to 178 lbs. I don’t want to binge each day till I’m overweight again.
So I won’t.
Vien, I love you.